iTunes sparks a long, winding trip down memory lane

Jeeze, I didn’t realize just how much money I’ve spent in iTunes (and on CDs) over the years until I decided to make a “smart playlist” and put every alternative, rock, punk, pop, etc genre I have into it. The thing came out with 3348 songs, and a playing time of 9.3 days.

So, what did I do about it? I put the whole thing on shuffle, and hit play. Its like a radio station with music from the past three decades, a mix of heavy metal, and slower stuff, explicit stuff that couldn’t be played on the radio, and a handful of those old “guilty pleasure” songs you’d never admit you listened to in a million years.

And what else am I doing about it? Using iTunes printing feature to post the whole song list in PDF format right here for the world to see. Yeah, I know, some of the songs on there are inviting ridicule, so sue me, it was a different time when I bought those.

I think it’s pretty fitting that the first song on the list after I hit the shuffle button was the most famous phone number in the world since I haven’t heard that song…

Saturday

Jun 7

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The theory of “porn”

Well, it had to happen someday, and it looks like today is that day. Gather round the fireplace boys and girls because we’re going to talk about porn. Stuff that appeals to the “prurient interest”. Hot, sexy, addictive visual imagery. Hot women, big curves, and sticky fluids.

First of all, we’re going to establish (based solely on my saying so, because, well, I said so) that there are currently three types of widely consumed pornography in our modern society. We’re also going to agree (again, because I said so) that an occasional indulgence in porn is perfectly normal, but that an excessive addiction to it is unhealthy.

Now, the first of our three types of porn is erotic imagery designed for sexual gratification. This is where you find words like “MILF”, “cumshot”, “gangbang”, etc. This type of porn is often available on websites with unoriginal names, and actresses in their late twenties who claim to be “barely 18″, and that “they’ve never done this before”, even though they’ve probably been on several dozen sites, getting railed more than an Amtrak train. People pay money for this stuff because it arouses one of our most basic animal instincts, the desperate need to get…

Tuesday

May 20

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Math, etc.

Anyone who knows me probably knows that math isn’t my strongest ability. Actually I tend to think of math as a language of its very own, and like any other language except english I have almost no serviceable ability to use it without some sort of technological assistance. Maybe its the way my mind is wired or the way I learned as a child, but something goes wrong when I try to think in anything other than english.

If you ask me the rules for how to execute a certain procedure I can tell them to you very easily, but when you plug the numbers in and ask me to actually complete that procedure my mind blanks. It was the same thing when I tried to learn German or Spanish or French, I could tell you the rules for conjugating the verbs and all that stuff, but I couldn’t actually do it.

I tend to think in concepts, maybe that has something to do with it. When I read a book or something is explained to me I immediately start having this inner dialogue with myself where I hash out the way I might use it, or what I think it means,…

Thursday

May 8

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…a web 1 and a 2 and a 3, can’t we just skip to 4 already?

I’ve heard so much crap about “web 2.0″ being the next big thing the past couple of years that I just can’t deal with it anymore. Web 2.0 isn’t the next big thing, its the immediately previous thing. Its over, o-v-e-r. In a world where google’s stock price goes from 500 dollars a share in September to 700 dollars a share as I write this, it should be blatantly obvious that this is a fast moving world now. Business moves faster than ever before, the markets move faster, trends move faster, and yes, bubbles move faster. If you’re looking at a trend today and see that it has already entered the collective zeitgeist it probably means that the trend you’re looking at is already well underway, if not past it’s peak by now. What this means is that you need to ignore that train which just left the station and get a ticket on the next one. How do you know when the next train leaves?