Getting in touch…
Scientific studies have shown that people often feel an intense need to communicate with me. Personally, I have no idea why that is, but I’ve learned to accept it as part of my responsibility to humanity. To streamline this process I’ve setup this nifty little contact form which you can use to tell me what’s on your mind.
If you’re not sure of what to write, just try some of these handy suggestions:
- You agree with everything I say and want to tell me how cool you think I am (you’re very kind, and smart).
- You’re from a foreign country and have millions of dollars in my name from a long lost relative and simply need an account number (good luck with that one).
- You want to tell me about some bizarre conspiracy theory right out of the X-Files (I’d prefer you didn’t, that stuff freaks me out).
- You’re a beautiful woman who desperately wants to have my children (I’m not a fan of the finished product but I’m more than willing to supply the “raw materials”).
- You just wanted to say you love me (please, won’t somebody? …sound of crickets chirping…).
Anyway, whatever the reason may be, here’s your chance. Just fill out the form and I’ll probably get back to you, really, I’ve got nothing better to do.
